Some old writing of mine . . .

So I was going through some old writing of mine, and came across this. I'm quite fond of it . . . so I'd thought I'd post it. Enjoy!

There was a loud rap on my window that woke me right up. It was light, basing off the little rays seeping through my curtains, which meant it was still day, and I wondered why in the world whoever was out there would be knocking on my window at this time, when it was even colder than usual.

            I hesitantly snuck across the room, carefully watching my step so I wouldn’t wake anyone, and slowly pulled the curtains aside. There stood Adrian, looking absolutely perfect as always, in a pair of long dark blue jeans, a black T-shirt shoved under a plaid green-and-black-and-white button-up vest, wonderfully fitted to his frame to make him appear thinner, and he wore his usual vans and accessories. There was a bright smile on his face, the whiteness of his teeth glistening off the light of the sun. I chuckled lightly at him, mentally congratulating him for getting onto my balcony for once, and opened the door for him to come in. He lifted me into the air, his hands on my waist, and twirled us around in a full circle.

            “Hey, guess what?!” He asked excitedly, but didn’t wait for me to give an answer. “I finally mastered my fire element and passed my final exam!!” He clapped his hands together happily, and I couldn’t help the swelling of my heart’s joyousness from this news.

            “Why, that’s magnificent!” I exclaimed, and he nodded, his face lighting up even more.

            “I’m so happy.” He declared to me, and wrapped my body in a firm hug. He started by teasingly nibbling my ear, but then his lips tenderly moved their way towards my mouth with extra care. His hands moved along my body and traveled to places they shouldn’t ever go to, with my clothes on or off. My hands gained a mind of their own in reaction to his, and started prying at the buttons of his vest, and his, as if realizing he had similar wants to mine, pulled my red cardigan up and over my head, breaking our kiss for the tiniest moment, but soon we had the same warm energy flowing between us once more. His vest and my cardigan were on the floor, and his black T-shirt soon joined it, along with my bra.

            Adrian’s hands cautiously moved over my bare skin, and he stared at me as if he were surprised of my beauty. He repeated the same words he had after our first kiss, both a prayer and a séance instead of a mere compliment.

            “You’re…You’re amazing.” He drew me closer, like a fisherman bringing in his catch. He was puffing hard, but once his hands were finished exploring the available bare skin, they trailed down to the button on my jeans, and he pulled them off with ease.

            Once all our clothes were tossed casually onto the floor, he pushed me back onto my bed and wrapped me in his warmth. I loved the both the feeling and the scent of his skin, an unusual cinnamon spice coating his normal musk. His kisses became greedier against my mouth, but they were pleasurable, and with each one my happiness was taken to a whole new level.

            From the moment he did it, I knew I wouldn’t have been satisfied if we had done it any other time. Fate had planned it to be today, and that’s exactly when I wanted it to be. No sooner, and no later.

            For the rest of the night (or day, if you want to be technical) he held me and whispered, “You’re amazing, little Moroi, so so amazing,” in between each kiss. Every time he did, I knew that little nickname had grown on me. If one day he came up to me and called me Alicia for the rest of our life together, I would be disappointed. Just like I would never be satisfied with anyone but Adrian being here with me, taking my virginity with the utmost care, and holding me as cautiously as he would with a new-born baby, but still with the blissful energy. I felt amazing and incredible and wonderful and marvelous and just fantastic.

           

            It was the best thing waking up at the end of the night and feeling him nested next to me. He had obviously woken up before me, because my head was in his lap, which was covered with the jeans he’d been wearing earlier (and was wearing again), and my blanket was covering my still naked body. His fingers were playing in my hair, tangling themselves into a tighter knot in the auburn strings, and he looked down fondly at my face, a pure smile on his face. When he watched my eyes flutter open, he smiled more, and untangled his fingers from my hair.

            “Hello beautiful,” he whispered, his voice coated with his love and tender affection for me. I returned his smile, and started to sit up, dragging the blanket with me to keep myself hidden beneath it. I tore my eyes away from Adrian’s flawless face, and let them wander around the room. Everything was as we’d left it, with his shirt and the rest of my clothes in a pile, and the curtains open, revealing a starry night sky. My gaze made it over to my alarm clock when my eyes widened, realizing I was late for my first two classes.

            Adrian’s hands caught my shoulder before I could bolt, and gently massaged the spot he had grabbed as he chuckled lightly. “It’s okay, little Moroi, I called the office while you were sleeping to tell them you weren’t feeling well enough to leave bed, so that’s where you’ll be staying for the rest of the day.” His words relaxed me, as did his touch, and I leaned back into his bare chest. He pressed something soft—his lips?—into my hair and slipped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap. “How are you feeling?” He asked nonchalantly, and I smirked at his casual question.

            “Absolutely perfect.”

Idk. I just really liked that scene. There was a certain perfectness in it that I've never caught anywhere else.

Btw, that was also last year's (2011) NaNoWriMo . . . Or at least a piece of it. Most elements of it were good, the setting, some people, the classes, but things like the main character and storyline were screwed. I honestly think my first-ever story had a better storyline--and that's saying something. Speaking of my first story ever--I've been thinking of rewriting that one if I ever get another story finished. It'd definitely be cool--with extra high chances of getting published with it's content . . .

Felt the Need to Post These Lyrics

Idk why, but when this song came on my playlist, I felt the need to post them. They're so . . . true. And me. Like they describe me in a way I can't even admit to myself. Story of my life.

[Jordin]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air
Oh

[Chris Brown]
I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

[Jordin]
But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus:]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

[Chris Brown]
I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

[Jordin]
But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

[Both:]
So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No more
It's no air, no air

[Chorus]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air

Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air

That's all for today :) It just sorta reminds me how if I only had the rest of today to live . . . I'd want to be with those I love, because without them my life would mean nothing. I wouldn't have air. I would just be another corpse drowning out in the deep waters. So thanks to those of you who choose to make my life mean something((:

Today I Get to Go Dancing

I love to dance. You probably didn't know that before, but it's completely true. On top of all my other crazy hobbies, dancing is there. Normally, it's just a crazy fun freestyle in my room to some pop or whatever I decide to play on my laptop, but today I get to go to the grange and have some real fun. I'm just learning how to dance more formally, when you have a male partner, since I've only gone once before, but it is lots of fun. Last time R (friend of mine) sang a song (Suds in a Bucket?) and secrets were traded. I know that first time is one I want to remember, above all the rest. :)

Moving on . . .

Writing update: I've recently gotten into one of my older stories. I abandoned it when I lost my jump-drive, as I did with every other story I had written up to that point, because that's where my newest content of it was. And though I have finally found my jump-drive, I haven't been using it as much. I decided that what I had on this unnamed story of mine, Prologue in the file for lack of better idea, that wasn't on my computer was going to crap anyways, and I went off in a different direction with the scene, perhaps the whole story, and I am so much happier with it. So happy, in fact, that I stayed up 'til midnight last night just to complete 1,000 words in an hour for it. I had a hard time closing my laptop so I could sleep enough to do my homework today ;)

In the reading world, things have been hectic. I've mostly given up on reading Phantom of the Opera for the time being, needing my precious free time for things like writing and homework, but I have been reading other things. On top of rereading some Richelle Mead content, I swallowed The Hunger Games in a single day. Sorry fans . . .

But I almost felt sorry I read it. I wished I had head my friend's warnings earlier that day, but I honestly felt it was too cruel a book. I was so put-out with the author for putting so much effort into a horribly themed book that I was almost two seconds from launching my kindle at the white walls of my bedroom. Luckily K was there to save me ^.^

K, a wonderful friend of mine, has been working really hard on one of her amazingful stories. It's incredibly funny, and I love it. I hope she doesn't mind that I'm sharing two excerpts in my blog ;)

“Roi come on—you have to come dance,” Kiki grinned, tugging on my arm.

“Kiki I’m not going to dance,” I whined.

She used her superior strength, and pulled me to my feet.

“Yes you are—come on,” she grunted, pulling me to the crowd of pulsing bodies.

“Kiki I—” I started, but she interrupted in a low hiss.

“You will dance, or you will die,” she said, before shoving me in to a tall, lanky blonde boy.

“Oof,” he grunted as I smacked in to him.

“Oh I-I’m sorry, my friend is kind of pushy...” I trailed off.

His green eyes appraised me , before he half smiled, realizing it had been a female attacking him.

“Naw its fine babe. You dance?” He asked, pointing a thumb at the crowd.

“N-no I don’t that’s sweet though, thanks...” I was preparing to back out as my cheeks flushed red, but he grabbed my waist and pulled me in to him.

“Why don’t you dance with me?” he suggested.

“Thanks but I—”

“Sorry—I’m afraid she’s spoken for this evening,” a deep gentle voice purred from behind me, his arm slipping around my waist, and tugging me free from the others grasp easily.

By the sound of his voice, the swooping save, and the way the blondes eyes bugged, I knew exactly who had come to the rescue. I allowed him to lead me away, before I hung my head.

“How much trouble am I in?” I groaned.

He chuckled, and let his lips glide up my neck to my ear.

“Which offense should we start with?” Soren asked.

“How many do I have?” I asked, shivering slightly at his words.

“Well,” he began, brushing all of my hair over to one side. “There’s the fact that you underestimated my protective abilities over you, conspired with my most devilish of sisters, snuck out in the middle of the night, while under house arrest, and tried to lull me to sleep using your most feminine of gifts, not to mention that you got out of the house looking so incredibly gorgeous, without my protection at your side,” he continued. “Should I go on?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes and turned around.

“No I think I get the general idea—” I replied, but he caught me up short.

Soren had slid in to a fresh pair of dark jeans, and a red button down, the top few left undone, to reveal a leather chord strung around his neck, a sharks tooth hanging from the center, and a slender silver chair disappearing past where the eye could see. He had tied his hair back—the way I liked it best, and I realized as my eyes were skimming him, his eyes were searching me. My cheeks flushed a deep crimson, and I tried to make it seem to be out of anger.

“How did you find out we were coming?” I asked, trying to make my voice furious, but I watched the intuition flash through his eyes as he saw through my poorly cultivated façade, with his darling half smile.

“I was listening to you in the shop,” he replied proudly.

I glared at him. He realized I was not going to answer, and bit his lip, leaning back to look me over again.

“You do look absolutely gorgeous tonight,” he said earnestly.

This made my lip twitch up in to a smile. I threw myself in to his arms happily.

“I sort of hoped you would show up. There’s really no point in going to a party if the party isn’t going to be there,” I said.

He laughed, and kissed the top of my head.

“You dance?” He asked, imitating the blondes voice.

I wrinkled my nose and pulled back.

“Ew no—I’m going to go look for my boyfriend,” I said, releasing myself from his grip.

He laughed again, and laced his fingers through mine.

“Roi—will you dance with me?” He murmured low in my ear.

Okay—at this point did I really have another option than to answer yes? He pulled me in to the thumping crowd, which was dancing to ‘Sorry for Party Rocking’ by LMFAO. I wasn’t much of a dancer on my own, and would have refused to dance had it been with anyone else, but Soren was fantastic, so he sort of inspired my more experimental side. The music switched between the hands of DJ’s, so the styles changed as well. Kiki was nowhere to be seen, which in all honesty didn’t bother me. I knew she was fine. Finally when the song ‘Kiss me’ by Sixpence None the Richer started playing, my tense muscles began to wind down. We danced, and due to Soren’s tragically romantic side, and twisted sense of humor, he took the liberty to kiss me each time the words were sang. I blushed each time, because most of the eyes were fixated on us. The weird couple consisting of ‘that girl’ and her unreasonably scary, huge, dangerous-looking, bad ass boyfriend, who held her like she was a fragile porcelain doll.
He however didn’t care about the watching eyes. When I mentioned it to him, he just shrugged and replied:

“If they don’t approve—who’s fault is that?”

~and~

I nodded, and brushed my hair over to the side, and tip toed over to see what he was cooking. It looked to be pizza. I looped my arms around his waist, and reached up higher to rest my chin on his shoulder.

“How’s it coming?” I asked.

“Just fine actually. Would you like to help?” He asked, turning his head to smile at me.

I couldn’t really have imagined a more patient teacher than Soren. I had little practice with genuine cooking, but his deep gentle voice guiding me through my mistakes made up for my embarrassment easily. Surprisingly, it also took me away from my worries.

“Like this?” I asked again, kneading the dough a little better than the time before.

He chuckled softly, and held my hands still.

“Like this,” he instructed again, pushing my palms in, and then folding it.

“Ah,” I replied, concentrating a little harder.

He watched me as I pinched and squeezed until the dough was a rough circle. I looked up as he laughed, his nose wrinkled cutely as he watched me stab the soft dough with my finger tips.

“What?” I asked, sticking my tongue out at him.

He shook his head, trying to stop laughing.

“Y-your expression there was so cute. I’m sorry that shouldn’t have been funny,” he laughed.

I punched his shoulder.

“Shut up,” I grunted, going back to making my pizza.


Soren’s of course turned out the most professional, and mine ended up being a little lumpy, and disproportionate, though I thought it was good—being my first try and all. Kiki’s was just flat out pathetic. She had eventually given up on her pizza dough, and wadded it in to a ball, smashing it on to the sheet, bathing it in sauce and cheese, and threw it in the oven slamming the door before stomping off angrily. All the while Soren couldn’t really manage to not laugh, which only made it worse.

After dinner, we went to play some cards, which went on fine until Kiki decided it was time to turn ‘crazy 8’s’ in to ‘pick up 52’ when Soren sufficiently kicked her butt.

Kiki's 8, by the way, and Soren is Roi's boyfriend in a way, if you didn't pick that up, but I love them all. Hope you enjoyed that ;)

~C~

Useless Ramblings of a Dreaming Teenager

I warning you--this is gonna be a crazy post created completely from my crazy mind. And I'm a wanderer. So that's exactly what I'll do here. Naturally, even. You should be impressed.

Richelle Mead is officially one of the most talented authors I've ever seen. Seriously. Yesterday I finished re-reading The Last Sacrifice, the final installment in the #1 New York Bestselling Vampire Academy series, for the somethingth time and I was as blown away this time as I was the first time. First of all, there's Dimitri Belikov--who barely needs an explanation after the first sight, and then there's Adrian Ivashkov. It's really too bad one of them gets his heart broken at the end, but the other's happiness is completely worth it. Plus he gets a huge part in the spin-off.

And where does this lead me? To read the newest Young Adult book from Mead, the spin-off called Bloodlines. No, I have not finished--I've been busy--but it's still amazing. I can hardly wait for June/July when I'll finally get the second. Richelle--I love you, but I wish you could've made your book come out faster. I do, however, hope your new son is as talented as you as he grows.

Sometimes I wonder, after reading books like that, I wonder if I'll ever have a love life. With someone as amazing as Dimitri or lovingly infuriating as Adrian. Someone smart and talented who'll be as hung over me as I am over him while I'm slung carefully over his shoulders. What would it be like? Would his eyes burn with an intensity so breathtaking I had to look away so I wouldn't suffocate from the look alone? Would a loving touch be all it take to make my heart swoon?

Would it even be real? Ever?

These are all things that go through my mind--and not just when I read these books. Every day. Another thing I ask is; Would I ever be good enough for him? And the only answer I can come up with is that I can cross my fingers and just hope that someday I will. God is there today, just for me, and until (and if) the right guy ever comes around I can be happy with just that.

Of course, you might be wondering where Bryce (this is my temporary name for him ;) ) fits into the equation. And honestly, I can tell you I have no clue. I want to be with him--yes--and my heart does swoon for him everytime I see him--and more--but I don't know if he is 'the one'. Hey, I'll figure it out someday.

Another thing I learned when rereading these books is that you pick up something new every time. I did in several parts in reading The Last Sacrifice. Though I suppose that's usual :)

Ciao
C

Jumbles and Jumbles of Me

I hate being bored and full of thoughts. Therefor, here is a blogpost just to empty out all my crazy, churning thoughts that never go away and get it out in random orders and as fast as I can.

You can stop reading if you want to. I'll be darting around. You don't have to follow along with my talking where I discover myself again.

First of all, I'm tired. I'm really tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of not having enough time to write. I'm tired of waiting for a good time to talk to Bob. Tired of complaining about being tired of life. But oh well. I have to deal with it.

I want a hug. I want a hug from Bob, actually. I want to see into his soul everyday and all the time rather than a few lucky instants when he plays the Tom Toms without his coat, or wears a hat. Is that bad? A little touch makes me yank my arm back from instinct and yet I want more than that. So gentle he is...

That reminds me. I need a better name for Bob. Bob doesn't fit. Only his true name does. But I can't call him that. Not on here. So I need a better, soothing one like the one he has. I'm brainstorming. So from now on he will be known as 'Unknown' until I think of a better name. Which might take a while.

I think my favorite feature of Unknown is his eyes. Even though I avoid them and rarely get to actually see them I love them. They are the darkest brown, just melding with the black pupil at the middle, and on anyone else I'm sure they would be hard and strict, but on him (whens he regards me) they are the sweetest, most innocent eyes I've ever seen.

The beauty of them reminds me of my own. Or maybe it's because they two pairs are the only two I can imagine in my cluttered brain at any time. I don't know. I just know that they remind me of the other.

I think maybe it might be the deepness in them. The depth. The falling you feel when staring into them. I think maybe that signifies true beauty for me. The depth of someone, and their personality.

Sometimes I think about 'my type' and if I have one. It almost seems to me that I do, because B--I mean Unknown is so much like my last huge school-guy crush (this was actually pointed out to me in a dream...). Who knows.

Except Unknown is different from Jordan because Jordan was cruel to me--and only me--whereas Unknown is nice to me and only me. There's also quite a difference in looks--Unknown is way more beautiful. I'll be lucky if I catch him.

-C-