Revelations

So I'm not even going to try to be something I'm not. Let's be honest here.

I am not a full-on writer. Yes, I write everyday, but I prefer to jump around a bit. I blame my relentless creativity, my easy-going personality, and my overall forgetful mood. For all these reasons, it makes it hard for me to get very far in a story. Very hard to focus. And very easy to take breaks and start new stories. So you can probably guess I have a lot started.

I think that sometimes I can get judged by this factor. Writers usually have patience, and a rock-hard dedication that pulls them through. Me? I was raised in a family where I got everything I wanted, threw a tantrum if I didn't, and was eventually bribed to stop. It's made me defiant, relaxed with deadlines, and most of all, lazy. And really, I hate it. I'm slow in my writing (Some people can get 10k down in a single day, where I can barely get 1k on my best days, sometimes 2 or 3k if I work late into the night.

I also realize that I could be writing right now. But with the revelation of how many good stories I had started up, I came to post here. Creativity doesn't just hit in story ideas, and today this post idea hit me hard.

Idk what the point to this is. I do know I miss several people, and that I'm a sucker for many things, so yeah. I suppose I can finish off with an excerpt. Not that anyone cares--because it'll probably never get finished.

My breath is held. I am frozen to a halt, stricken with fear. My eyes are glued to the feathered wings sprouting from my back, though not in admiration for the beauty of the light shimmer reflecting off the pureness in their white. Only terror.

          The entwined feathers drag my eyes to them, each trying to steal the spotlight from another as they attempt to win me over. But then one of the extra, unwanted limps twitch, and my mouth opens to scream, but something tangles with my lips, and stops my plea.

          And then my eyes spring open. Tears run down the side of my face and down my cheeks; I’m soaking in the liquid. My damp hair is wrapped firmly around my face, especially my mouth, explaining the gag. My blankets, soggy from my tears and sweat, tie around my body in an unwelcome embrace.

          I attempt to calm myself from my troubled state and, failing, I instead decide to slowly untangle myself. It takes a few minutes, but as soon as I’m free, my fingers leap to my back. Nothing’s there at all, except my trembling shoulder blades.

          An exhale of relief emits itself. I can live another day.

Perhaps a Little Random

As the title clearly states, this is pretty random, but I just wrote it and despite its clear flaws I'm postin it. Enjoy!

When I found you,

I didn’t expect to be handcuffed to the wall,

Caged like an animal without fight.

You took my breath,

And used it against me.

Seized the chance

to ruin me.

You think you’ve rendered me helpless,

But I’m not that pathetic.

I will rise up,

Sharpen my metals,

And unleash the defiance

That’s been building all these years.

An eye-opener, a tear-jerker.

And the hand-cuffs. Very important.

And one more poem:

Like a bird takes to the wind,

She took to her pen.

The sky opened up,

And she dashed up to fly.

Never a day does she rest,

But instead she does test,

Counting down the seconds

Until she can have that paper in her hands again.

A New View

I think Mondays are truly special. After a challenging, or relaxing weekend, you get to come back to school and learn and see your friends again. It's the beginning of the week, and the beginning of change. Maybe that's why so many people hate the day . . . (if you don't see my reasoning then go ask someone smart :P)

Anyways, today, I have to say, was one of those days. I watched a science experiment that made a visible tornado with dry ice (dipped in water and poured in) with Bryce leaning on my desk (it wasn't until afterwards I realized how hard my heart was pounding and how heavily I was breathing by his closeness, which I don't get since he's always closer in band . . .), I stole someone's homework (on accident, of course, but I'm proud ;) ), I actually ate all three meals, I tried some healthy brownies that gave me a stomach ache, I openly talked about Bryce with a few people, I annoyed Bryce by reading his texts over his shoulder during band (seriously, I didn't read anything but his sig thing and who he was texting though), and sat in the back row in choir. Not too many new things, but new enough.

Most of those things are about Bryce. Dang it. I'm not supposed to be obsessed. Did you know I have his whole schedule plotted out even though I only actually have two classes with him? XD

Okay, enough teasing. OH I FORGOT! I also did not straighten my hair or apply eye make-up. I was so proud ^.^

Also, I think science is the most screwed up thing in the universe. Biology the most, though, medical stuff coming close in second. It's not the diseases and crap, though, it's the cruel heartless stuff they do to frogs and even people (but especially frogs).

Yeah, I'm pretty pathetic. Get over it.

*sing-song voice* Anyways, I have a dress to go get on for pictures for my friends (it's for the dance), so ta-ta for now! Please enjoy yourself until we meet again.

Secrets and Jessamine

There are times when I wish I didn't have so many secrets. Because once you're at your limit of secrets, one is going to be spilled, and you're not gonna like it. And then there are those ones, that everyone knows about, but then someone doesn't and you have to repeat it for the billionth time. By that point, the 'secret' becomes pointless, and loses its fire, which had been kindling as soon as you realized it. Sometimes, secret telling can eventually cause the secret to become untrue.

I have no examples I feel like supplying today, but the paragraph above is a really good way to describe 90% of my frustrations in life. Secret-telling. Secret-keeping. It washes me out, even more than sprinting with Kayla down the sides of a soccer field does. I wish it didn't.

I wonder if that's why my newest story is about secrets, secrets that can't be told, secrets that can be used against us, secrets that could have protected us, secrets that tear us apart.

I hate secrets. And so does Jessamine. Jessa is my main character in my story. She's darling, a pretty little 15-year-old, dreading her 16th birthday, when truth will shatter and she'll have to pick up the pieces, sorting the lies from reality. All the while fighting the destructive nature of her new wings . . .

Anyways, that's all I got for today. I'm thinking of posting an excerpt soon--so keep your eyes posted for it!

Random things about Jessamine:

1. She is the middle child of three girls, all cleverly named with the beginning of J.
2. Older sister is named Jocelyn.
3. Younger is Jazmin.
4. In order from oldest to youngest, their nicknames are Jocy, Jessa, and Jazz.
5. Jessamine has blonde hair.
6. She sees her father only every five months, when he comes back from the airforce.
7. She is adopted, but her other sisters are biologically related.
8. She has a nightmare every single night, and it happens to be about wings.

Some Good Reads

I feel sorta weird. In the last few weeks, I've done it all: Lost/Won soccer games, had good or bad practices, didn't make the dance team, do homework, skip it, go dancing at the grange, go camping, babysit kids and figure how bad I am at it, I've fought with friends, got my crush to talk to me, have my little brother lose his tooth, ect. But now that I look back on those things, I realize one thing: I haven't been posting.

I've been trying, so extra points there. It's just inspiration for something longer to post about wasn't coming. Right now, I'm in a time of high inspiration, though, so it's darn well time to get one of these out here. *Inhales slowly* Here we go.

In my life, it's actually been pretty boring, so we won't start there. Actually, I doubt we'll even reach the location today.

Instead, I'm going to start with books. As some of you know, I love to read. Fewer know that my two favorite series' are The Unearthly Series and The Vampire Academy Series (give or take on a few, plus Bloodlines). But I recently got my hands on a book called Entwined . . .

*coughi'mnotreallythebestjudgeofthiscough* And it was the most amazing book eva! (Ever, for you peoples who don't understand slang :P) I love the names (in alphabetical order, oldest to youngest, and all names on plants or flowers): Azalea (<--Main character), Bramble, Clover, Delphinium, Evening Primrose (Eve), Flora, Goldenrod, Hollyhock, Ivie, Jessamine, Kale, and Lily. All twelve sisters (this is the 12 dancing princesses, after all) are portrayed beautifully, each with their own striking personality. Overall, a magnificent tale with a great spin, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone, though if you don't like it don't come runnin' to me about it. That wouldn't end well, surely not . . .

Some would ask if I'd read the book again, but sadly, I'm not the rereading type anymore, so it might be hard. I do, however, agree that if I was still someone who read my books over and over, this would have the highest talies, though((:

I also read Angel, from the Maximum Ride series, and I'm glad this one wasn't as dim as the few before it. 'Cuz they were just . . . sad. No need to go further.

I'm also going to reread East, an excellent book I read as a fourth grader when my mom was inserting me into the young adult stuff (I told you I was advanced), but back then I didn't have the appreciation for it. Plus, when first starting my reading I was really a skim-the-details reader, so I honestly don't remember much other than the plotline. It'll be fun--That much I know :)

Well, I hope this post maybe gave you some insight on some amazing books (Sorry for the Angel one; It really was good! Just wish it held the perfectness in the first two...Well, the author has some time to make up for it I suppose for the finale, Nevermore) and that you all pick them out, and enjoy them! :)