Camp

Whoa, umm, it's like, been over a month...Wow. Well, while I could make a whole bunch of excuses about how busy I've been (it's true!) and the million other things that contributed, I'm not going to list them. In the long run, I was just super lazy and didn't feel like posting, and I'm sorry about that. Who knows how I'll do for this next length of posting.

Anyways, I just got back from camp. Yes, it's a church camp, but I found myself more deeply tied to that place than the last four times I've gone to it. It was also last year as a middle schooler there, which I find extremely cool. But there is cooler stuff to move onto right now.

During the last few months, God has been a fading topic in my mind. I even went as far to say I stopped believing in him, and it was true. I seriously stopped thinking there was another presence above me, next to me, beside me, watching over me. But the thing was, when I went to camp . . . I saw him everywhere. Sometimes, I would simply stop thinking for a moment . . . and I would feel his love. There are so many things I learned at camp . . . but how he loves is one of them. And now I think I'm closer to him than I've ever been before.

Moving on. I'm not going to turn into one of those church addicts, so don't worry, you can still read this blog ;)

Otherwise, I just had a lot of fun. Yesterday, before I left, I cried, sobbed, and gave so many hugs. There are a lot of people who I think are truly going to miss me, and not just for a day and then forget me. And that's really all I can ask for...

I Owe Karen Amanda Hooper . . . (Long-Awaited Shout-out/Review for Grasping at Eternity)

. . . for letting me read such an amazing book for free.

Recently, I finished a book called Grasping at Eternity by Karen Amanda Hooper. I had heard about her in a scavenger hunt I took part in (the link is in one of the pictures on the side of my blog -->) and had been interested in her mermaid one, Tangled Tides, seeing as it sounded so interesting, but I'll be honest. I wasn't so sure about the other, despite its amazing and gorgeous cover.

You've heard the saying: never judge a book by its cover? Never judge a book by its synopsis too. They're usually better than that as well.

In a small nutshell: I loved it. I found myself longing to be back in bed flipping through the pages on my kindle while I was out doing chores and working jobs for my grandparents, a feeling I actually haven't felt in a long while. The story made me feel alive and everything that I haven't in a long time. Karen Amanda Hooper is like my new hero. The way she spun the story, alternating between POVs every few chapters, was amazing. In all my time, I don't think I've ever adored an author as much as I adore you right now. (Please don't find me crazy for saying that . . .)

Also, if you know me well enough, you know I haven't re-read a book in a while. I've re-read this book over and over since I got it so many times I could probably recite half of it word-by-word to you. I loved it. It was magnificent.

In short? I loved this story. I loved Tangled Tides when I first read it, but this one blew me away. I love the way you entertwined the story around every word you wrote, the reaction it pulled from me, and the way you made everything seem so real. I felt for the characters, and that's a pretty amazing thing too.

So, anyways, I'd definitely recommend this book to anyone who is looking for an AMAZING read (I'ver used amazing too much in this post . . . my inner editor is screaming for me to go grab a thesarus) and even if you aren't, go read it. Thanks.

Huh?

This must be some sort of trick. A very twisted, horrible trick played by someone. I don't know who. It was either one of the people from Australia that visited this site, or one of my crazy friends from the US. Or some other random member of the US. That's possible too. *Nods inclusively*

You must be wondering what this is. Oh god, you must be wondering what the heck is up with this post. You're dying in the uknown. Well guess what? It gets worse. How so, you ask? Becuase I'm never going to tell you about how I got 6 views of my blog yesterday, and 2 so far today! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!

Oh shoot . . . I just told you, didn't I? Oh, the curses of being an evil villan . . .

XD. Okay, fun's over. I'm serious! 6 views, in 24 hours! I used to get excited for 50...which is our all-time record by the way...and dreaded, like, below 20...but now I dread below 0...and give hurrays for anything above 3.

So now you can see why I think this is an evil trick. Mhm *nods*

So if you did it, you know who you are. You don't have to apologize, or come forward with it, but don't ever do it again!

Wait. I forgot. You do have to come forward with it. A billion dollars to the vampire who brings in the culprit!! He who has committed thee crimes shall be hanged! Or as the queen of heart might say, OFF WITH HIS HEAD!! Or her head. I didn't realize I was being so sexist.

JK.

I'm sorry for the silly post. I guess I'm sorta (okay, more than sorta) fried with everything. And we still have fireworks tonight. *facepalm* Ouch.

Okay. I shall see you. Seriously, if you did visit my page today--YESTERDAY!--three times, I'm fine with that. Happy, actually. Just don't do it again, okay? What am I saying? Do it everyday, actually. Thank you. *hugs* Love you. Wanna be best friends? *offers hand*

I better get off of here before I cause a riot. Is that one I hear in the distance? Oops. I better get going, then.
Cass
Your faithful fan.
*skitters off to find somewhere to hide...and maybe sleep*

I'll Be Back

On Friday, I will be leaving on a trip. I don't know when I'll return, or why I expect you to care, but I just thought I'd say so.

To Sara, I order thee to check your email if you still look at this. Tonight I plan to send something hopefully that will get to you there, and I would really appreciate it if you would just do that for me. I am utterly and completely alone right now, and though that might not make sense right now, it will when you read that email.

Other than that, I'm just checking in. My official new favorite song is now called Cut by Plumb and I'm obsessed with watching the Vampire Diaries. About the song, you should listen to it. It really touched me when I first heard it. Adios for now, sweet world.

Cass.

I Should Be Writing

...but I'm a little worried about my viewing and commenting on this blog. Seriously, I used to get 100 views per week! Now I'm lucky if I get 50 per month . . . and I know it's because of my infrequent posting and such, but I'd still love it if you gave me some consideration.

As for commenting, I'll need them if I am to continue blogging. I understand that's a little cleche but I don't care.

And I'll leave you with the synopsis of my August NaNoWriMo story, titled The Rebound with the following temporary cover:

Summer Hansen is the player of the century. Drop a boy, get a boy, drop a boy, get a boy . . . It's a never ending cycle. To add to her case, she's also only sixteen and has slept with almost every man under eighteen in the city. Everything is good.

That is, until Daniel Michaelson steals her trick before she can pull it.

Embarrassed and alone after getting dumped for the first time, Summer seeks sanctuary in the lap of sexy and alluring Hunter. He has enough sense to keep his mouth shut when hers is open, and doesn't mind being the rebound. She is content in his arms, until secrets build a wall between them, and Summer beings to wonder what is behind those mysterious jasmine colored irises . . .

Summer doesn't plan to stop until she has learned everything, but what if learning his hidden terrors hurt her more than it helps her? What if those secrets not only tear them apart, but Summer rips to pieces as well? Will her curiosity get the better of her?

Cass
All Rights Reserved

The Emotional Ties of Just Being a Writer

Today, I did something extraordinary. Amazing. I still haven't fully recovered from the feat. My heart pounded, my breath became heavy, and I lost all awareness of where I was, who I was, what I was actually doing. I was just in the moment, noisily tapping my fingers over the keyboard. What I wrote was important. I know later, probably next month when I edit it, I'm gonna go back over it and say God that was horrible. But right now, I don't care. Like Caspian, I didn't care. Right then, and right now, I just want to say how absolutely wonderful writing their first real kiss was.

There is such an amazing thing about writing. Some people, I know, write for others. To impress, to have something to brag about, maybe for money. Then there are the others, like me, who just write for the joy of being able to jot down a few glorious words down on paper, or, in my case, in a vastly large Word Doc.

Over the time period of two years (not a lot, I realize), I have learned much about writing, but one of the most important things is how just putting out a few words can affect you. You can think it all you want, even say it out loud, but until it's written, maybe in a little private place in your diary where you think no one else in the world could care about, it affects you. They can make you laugh, or cry. They can make you feel like you're there, like you're real, even though you're sure they just came from your imagination. Well, I got something to tell you. Your imagination isn't just your imagination. It's a whole other world, waiting for you to dive in and feel the welcoming embrace that comes with accepting your gift.

Then, before you know it, what was originally those few words written in a small notebook tucked under your desk during Geometry suddenly becomes a book. Something that gives you multiple feelings instead of just one. Imagination gave you a story that only you can tell. It wants it out there, in the word, changing people's lives and doing amazing things. But the truth is, it's going to affect you a million time more than it'll ever affect someone out there reading it. When you write, you put a part of you in there, for everyone to see. That crazy and insane emotion that came when you wrote a certain scene? You put it into the story, and it's for everyone else to feel andexperience. Maybe not in the same and exact way you did, but in a similar way. And let me tell you, it feels incredible.

Really, I have no idea why I had to post this. I think it was what I wrote. The emotion overwhelmed me, and I had to plug some of it somehwere else so it'd even out. I don't care if no one even reads this post. I just know this is out there as soon as I hit 'publish' and you're missing out if you don't read it.

Cass

Bad Me Wrote Some Excerpts

So I realize that I haven't been doing much on here besides excerpts, small posts, poems, and songs, but here's another. I PROMISE I'll get back to actually foing something constructive, in about ten days most likely, but until then you'll have to have in there with me. Because it's NaNoWriMo, so I have to finish. I started half a month late too, and I'll be gone for the last two days, so it's a bigger hurry. I hope you understand. I apologize.

Any who, here's the purpose of todays posts. Everything special that I did in that pretty curvy font ^-^

In my dreams, I was swimming. My back to the ocean floor, I floated across the dazzling waters. Unlike most nights, the moon refused to show its face, and instead the clouds, and some shining stars, flickered over the surface of the incredible mass of liquid.

            I smiled. In the distance, I heard someone rushing out to join me. When I turned upright to see who, it was the surfer from class. So much time had passed since then, I had almost forgotten about him. Only then did I get a good view of his true features—and how well they worked together to construct every expression.

            In a nutshell, he was breathtakingly beautiful. His hair, which was confirmed as a light golden blonde, was styled in the way of Leonardo DiCaprio, shooting backwards and to the side messily at odd angles, and somehow still adding to his appearance. Some of it swept forwards again, hanging into his face. Sea blue was the color of his eyes, which was no surprise judging by how attached to the sea he had seemed earlier. Besides his jaw line and hair, everything was fitted into a soft curve. Even the harshness of his tan seemed to be dulled to make him look better.

            He ran across the water, as if it were land, and didn’t so much as stick a toe in until he was beside me. He reached out to touch me, cup my cheek—

            —But I didn’t get to feel what it was like because my eyes sprung open. I think they wanted to see it for themselves, not in some creepy dream, but alas, there was no surfer in front of me. There was only Lara, and my crazy dreams, alone.

-and-

Caspian was in my dreams again. Honestly, it was starting to annoy me, since every appearance was only getting me more and more confused. Tomorrow, or the next day, or the next time I saw him, I would deny answers. Or from Lucy. She seemed to know. Tarren had to know too. Caspian had claimed to be good friends with him, and with him being Lucy’s boyfriend, if Caspian hadn’t told him, then Lucy would have. Either way, there was something terribly wrong with being lied to by two people you’d known since sixth grade.

            Back to the dream. It was exactly like it had started the night before, with myself floating across the surface of the water, far out in the sea, and Caspian walking over it to reach me, sinking down once beside me. This time, though, he didn’t try to touch me. In fact, he almost looked afraid to. The fear in eyes confirmed that.

            I righted my body in the water, turning into a vertical position in the ocean and I, confused, tried to figure out what was wrong. We didn’t speak. We just stared, into each other’s eyes, with such an unwavering gaze it should’ve been illegal. Such emotion churched under that soft exterior; I wanted to just reach inside and grab hold of them, so I could understand, because I certainly wasn’t anywhere near that at this point. I wanted to see what he was hiding, and unravel it fast.

            Yet, that soft outside still laid between the worlds of me and him, and he had an army of lashes defended. I wondered if . . .

            I kissed him. I leapt forward, grabbed his face gently with my hand, and I pressed his lips to mind. The best thing? Probably the fact that he kissed me back.

            As if he wasn’t thinking straight, he wound his arms around me, pulling me closer than we had been when he saved me from Marcus. In the cool water, there was nothing between us, nothing stopping us.

            I thought I had found what he had been hiding, what I had been hiding. I didn’t understand it as I thought I would after this, but I could identify it at the very least. That attraction. That feeling as if I knew him, as if he knew me. Everything about me. But most of all, that attraction. I didn’t have to say it, but I did anyways.

            Love.

That's all! Drive safe, be happy...It's summer! I even forgot about that for a moment. It's funny, because I plan to spend every minute this summer writing and editing. I'm afraid time'll pass so fast I won't be able to catch up! Lol (Laugh Out Loud)
Lol (Lots of Loud!)
Cass

Slow Posting . . . Sorry

If life was as empty as my hands, then there'd be no purpose. Luckily, it isn't, and though everything isn't clear, that's the thrill of living. Life is there to bring excitement, pain, longing, bliss, love, embarrassment, and joy. It teaches lessons, and gives us time to beg for forgiveness for our sins, as we make more mistakes in the process.

And that's basically all I got to say.

I don't know what to think yet. But read this:

The wind flew over the beach, sending ripples through the coarse specks of sand as the luminous moon reflected on the ocean waves. Softly pressed footprints walked out to the water’s edge, where I girl stood. The water climbed up to her ankles when she walked further into its depths.

            Something, someone called her back, but when she turned all she found was darkness. She wished someone was there to be with her in her final moments, but she was utterly and completely alone. Everyone hated her. Even her best friend.

            In efforts to rid herself of her old life, she started yanking on her necklaces. Some fell to the ground, embedding themselves in the sand to be found by another. Others dunk into the water, and were so light they floated away.

            The final one, through, trembled in her hands before she let go. Neatly scrawled on the pendant was, ‘The World is there to Push You Down. I was Made to Pick You Back Up.” It was from her mother. Brittney had picked it out with her Mom.

            The girl allowed a single tear to slide down her face and join the ocean, but just that one.

            She continued. The water was chilling, and shivers through her body that made it hard to move or function, but she pushed forward. She couldn’t give up now.

            The ocean called to her, and she loved the beautiful melody it sang to her with every step. The waves crashed right in front of her, and she almost smiled when one splashed her face, landing only inches from her outstretched fingertips.

            “Sorry Mom,” she whispered, and let the water engulf and choke her to death.

I love it, and don't. It seems imperfect. Needs help. I'll fix it later . . .

Never Surrender

I've seen so many writers quit after such a long run, several of them close friends. Why? Because of doubt. 'I'm not good enough.' 'I'll never make it.' Because of fear. 'Well, I won't try because I don't want a rejection, or better yet, no reply at all.' Because of 'no time.' 'I'm just so busy!' Each and every excuse you could give is nothing when you have talent. If you don't like it, sure, but if you do, then you sure as heck better be out there doing it.

I guess I'm not one to talk, though. I've used every excuse I listed up there--but no matter what I said I came back to it. Writing is my drug. Surrender to it, and fill your heart with it. Don't surrender to doubt, even if it is your biggest weakness.

Sorry for the lack of posting. I've been giving my other blog attention:

http://kayleewantspie.blogspot.com/

So yeah. If you don't like the annoyed, blame-the-world-but-not-myself tone, then don't go there, because that's what it is. Adios.

Cassie

Revelations

So I'm not even going to try to be something I'm not. Let's be honest here.

I am not a full-on writer. Yes, I write everyday, but I prefer to jump around a bit. I blame my relentless creativity, my easy-going personality, and my overall forgetful mood. For all these reasons, it makes it hard for me to get very far in a story. Very hard to focus. And very easy to take breaks and start new stories. So you can probably guess I have a lot started.

I think that sometimes I can get judged by this factor. Writers usually have patience, and a rock-hard dedication that pulls them through. Me? I was raised in a family where I got everything I wanted, threw a tantrum if I didn't, and was eventually bribed to stop. It's made me defiant, relaxed with deadlines, and most of all, lazy. And really, I hate it. I'm slow in my writing (Some people can get 10k down in a single day, where I can barely get 1k on my best days, sometimes 2 or 3k if I work late into the night.

I also realize that I could be writing right now. But with the revelation of how many good stories I had started up, I came to post here. Creativity doesn't just hit in story ideas, and today this post idea hit me hard.

Idk what the point to this is. I do know I miss several people, and that I'm a sucker for many things, so yeah. I suppose I can finish off with an excerpt. Not that anyone cares--because it'll probably never get finished.

My breath is held. I am frozen to a halt, stricken with fear. My eyes are glued to the feathered wings sprouting from my back, though not in admiration for the beauty of the light shimmer reflecting off the pureness in their white. Only terror.

          The entwined feathers drag my eyes to them, each trying to steal the spotlight from another as they attempt to win me over. But then one of the extra, unwanted limps twitch, and my mouth opens to scream, but something tangles with my lips, and stops my plea.

          And then my eyes spring open. Tears run down the side of my face and down my cheeks; I’m soaking in the liquid. My damp hair is wrapped firmly around my face, especially my mouth, explaining the gag. My blankets, soggy from my tears and sweat, tie around my body in an unwelcome embrace.

          I attempt to calm myself from my troubled state and, failing, I instead decide to slowly untangle myself. It takes a few minutes, but as soon as I’m free, my fingers leap to my back. Nothing’s there at all, except my trembling shoulder blades.

          An exhale of relief emits itself. I can live another day.

Perhaps a Little Random

As the title clearly states, this is pretty random, but I just wrote it and despite its clear flaws I'm postin it. Enjoy!

When I found you,

I didn’t expect to be handcuffed to the wall,

Caged like an animal without fight.

You took my breath,

And used it against me.

Seized the chance

to ruin me.

You think you’ve rendered me helpless,

But I’m not that pathetic.

I will rise up,

Sharpen my metals,

And unleash the defiance

That’s been building all these years.

An eye-opener, a tear-jerker.

And the hand-cuffs. Very important.

And one more poem:

Like a bird takes to the wind,

She took to her pen.

The sky opened up,

And she dashed up to fly.

Never a day does she rest,

But instead she does test,

Counting down the seconds

Until she can have that paper in her hands again.

A New View

I think Mondays are truly special. After a challenging, or relaxing weekend, you get to come back to school and learn and see your friends again. It's the beginning of the week, and the beginning of change. Maybe that's why so many people hate the day . . . (if you don't see my reasoning then go ask someone smart :P)

Anyways, today, I have to say, was one of those days. I watched a science experiment that made a visible tornado with dry ice (dipped in water and poured in) with Bryce leaning on my desk (it wasn't until afterwards I realized how hard my heart was pounding and how heavily I was breathing by his closeness, which I don't get since he's always closer in band . . .), I stole someone's homework (on accident, of course, but I'm proud ;) ), I actually ate all three meals, I tried some healthy brownies that gave me a stomach ache, I openly talked about Bryce with a few people, I annoyed Bryce by reading his texts over his shoulder during band (seriously, I didn't read anything but his sig thing and who he was texting though), and sat in the back row in choir. Not too many new things, but new enough.

Most of those things are about Bryce. Dang it. I'm not supposed to be obsessed. Did you know I have his whole schedule plotted out even though I only actually have two classes with him? XD

Okay, enough teasing. OH I FORGOT! I also did not straighten my hair or apply eye make-up. I was so proud ^.^

Also, I think science is the most screwed up thing in the universe. Biology the most, though, medical stuff coming close in second. It's not the diseases and crap, though, it's the cruel heartless stuff they do to frogs and even people (but especially frogs).

Yeah, I'm pretty pathetic. Get over it.

*sing-song voice* Anyways, I have a dress to go get on for pictures for my friends (it's for the dance), so ta-ta for now! Please enjoy yourself until we meet again.

Secrets and Jessamine

There are times when I wish I didn't have so many secrets. Because once you're at your limit of secrets, one is going to be spilled, and you're not gonna like it. And then there are those ones, that everyone knows about, but then someone doesn't and you have to repeat it for the billionth time. By that point, the 'secret' becomes pointless, and loses its fire, which had been kindling as soon as you realized it. Sometimes, secret telling can eventually cause the secret to become untrue.

I have no examples I feel like supplying today, but the paragraph above is a really good way to describe 90% of my frustrations in life. Secret-telling. Secret-keeping. It washes me out, even more than sprinting with Kayla down the sides of a soccer field does. I wish it didn't.

I wonder if that's why my newest story is about secrets, secrets that can't be told, secrets that can be used against us, secrets that could have protected us, secrets that tear us apart.

I hate secrets. And so does Jessamine. Jessa is my main character in my story. She's darling, a pretty little 15-year-old, dreading her 16th birthday, when truth will shatter and she'll have to pick up the pieces, sorting the lies from reality. All the while fighting the destructive nature of her new wings . . .

Anyways, that's all I got for today. I'm thinking of posting an excerpt soon--so keep your eyes posted for it!

Random things about Jessamine:

1. She is the middle child of three girls, all cleverly named with the beginning of J.
2. Older sister is named Jocelyn.
3. Younger is Jazmin.
4. In order from oldest to youngest, their nicknames are Jocy, Jessa, and Jazz.
5. Jessamine has blonde hair.
6. She sees her father only every five months, when he comes back from the airforce.
7. She is adopted, but her other sisters are biologically related.
8. She has a nightmare every single night, and it happens to be about wings.

Some Good Reads

I feel sorta weird. In the last few weeks, I've done it all: Lost/Won soccer games, had good or bad practices, didn't make the dance team, do homework, skip it, go dancing at the grange, go camping, babysit kids and figure how bad I am at it, I've fought with friends, got my crush to talk to me, have my little brother lose his tooth, ect. But now that I look back on those things, I realize one thing: I haven't been posting.

I've been trying, so extra points there. It's just inspiration for something longer to post about wasn't coming. Right now, I'm in a time of high inspiration, though, so it's darn well time to get one of these out here. *Inhales slowly* Here we go.

In my life, it's actually been pretty boring, so we won't start there. Actually, I doubt we'll even reach the location today.

Instead, I'm going to start with books. As some of you know, I love to read. Fewer know that my two favorite series' are The Unearthly Series and The Vampire Academy Series (give or take on a few, plus Bloodlines). But I recently got my hands on a book called Entwined . . .

*coughi'mnotreallythebestjudgeofthiscough* And it was the most amazing book eva! (Ever, for you peoples who don't understand slang :P) I love the names (in alphabetical order, oldest to youngest, and all names on plants or flowers): Azalea (<--Main character), Bramble, Clover, Delphinium, Evening Primrose (Eve), Flora, Goldenrod, Hollyhock, Ivie, Jessamine, Kale, and Lily. All twelve sisters (this is the 12 dancing princesses, after all) are portrayed beautifully, each with their own striking personality. Overall, a magnificent tale with a great spin, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone, though if you don't like it don't come runnin' to me about it. That wouldn't end well, surely not . . .

Some would ask if I'd read the book again, but sadly, I'm not the rereading type anymore, so it might be hard. I do, however, agree that if I was still someone who read my books over and over, this would have the highest talies, though((:

I also read Angel, from the Maximum Ride series, and I'm glad this one wasn't as dim as the few before it. 'Cuz they were just . . . sad. No need to go further.

I'm also going to reread East, an excellent book I read as a fourth grader when my mom was inserting me into the young adult stuff (I told you I was advanced), but back then I didn't have the appreciation for it. Plus, when first starting my reading I was really a skim-the-details reader, so I honestly don't remember much other than the plotline. It'll be fun--That much I know :)

Well, I hope this post maybe gave you some insight on some amazing books (Sorry for the Angel one; It really was good! Just wish it held the perfectness in the first two...Well, the author has some time to make up for it I suppose for the finale, Nevermore) and that you all pick them out, and enjoy them! :)

According to my clock, it's been 5:58 for 5 poor minutes. AM. Well, technically, they were off two different clocks (one I set ahead so I get up a few minutes early and can sleep in using those few minutes, and the other is my laptop), but still. I thought it was an interesting fact for the early morning.

Next? Well, something surprising may be that I'm skipping the whole 8th grade. It'll certainly be fun--because it means I can go straight to high school next year. And the best is my smartness doesn't finish there--I'll be taking sophmore/junior classes WITH my now few freshmen classes. Also, with my special arrangment with that, and if I make it into dance team, I'll have an extra slot for Art or Journalism (still haven't decided which...). The sad thing is that I have, like, 6 core classes instead of a mere 4. 2 history, 1 science, 1 Language arts, and 2 Math (geometry and Algebra II). I'm doing good, aren't I?

Next piece of business...I finally got my laptop working, so I can finally reach my email and blog. Before I could get to like a single page, after waiting a while for it to load, but if I tried to go further it crashed. Hense, why it's been taking so long to post.

But as one flies in, another runs out. My phone also died the other day. Died died, like it won't turn on. We've yet to take it in, but we've tried everything. Stupid electronics...

~C~

Have you ever wondered...

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to win a prize from a famous author? Well, I'm feeling it. Sure, I only won a pair of earrings themed for Angela Corbett's books, but that's pretty darn cool. And it's certainly better than nothing. It's makes me feel like I'm one in a million, and they still picked ME.

...And of course that leads me to thinking about soulmates, and how out of the million other people out there, one person is gonna pick me. ME. The girl who sits on the couch all day tapping her long fingers lightly yet rhythmically against her laptop keyboard as she types beautiful writing and angry messages. The girl who might as well sit alone at lunch because she gets no pleasure with the group she hangs with, the girl who gets all A's in school, but somehow couldn't care less if you punched her in the nose. I mean, seriously?! Who's gonna go for a woman like that?

But, of course, against all odds, someone is gonna pick me, exactly for all those reasons I just named for someone to not like me. And I'll call him crazy as I reach for his hand and grasp his warmth for my own enjoyment, and watch as he smirks in amusement, and it'll all be perfect.

Short post. Enjoy!
C

Some old writing of mine . . .

So I was going through some old writing of mine, and came across this. I'm quite fond of it . . . so I'd thought I'd post it. Enjoy!

There was a loud rap on my window that woke me right up. It was light, basing off the little rays seeping through my curtains, which meant it was still day, and I wondered why in the world whoever was out there would be knocking on my window at this time, when it was even colder than usual.

            I hesitantly snuck across the room, carefully watching my step so I wouldn’t wake anyone, and slowly pulled the curtains aside. There stood Adrian, looking absolutely perfect as always, in a pair of long dark blue jeans, a black T-shirt shoved under a plaid green-and-black-and-white button-up vest, wonderfully fitted to his frame to make him appear thinner, and he wore his usual vans and accessories. There was a bright smile on his face, the whiteness of his teeth glistening off the light of the sun. I chuckled lightly at him, mentally congratulating him for getting onto my balcony for once, and opened the door for him to come in. He lifted me into the air, his hands on my waist, and twirled us around in a full circle.

            “Hey, guess what?!” He asked excitedly, but didn’t wait for me to give an answer. “I finally mastered my fire element and passed my final exam!!” He clapped his hands together happily, and I couldn’t help the swelling of my heart’s joyousness from this news.

            “Why, that’s magnificent!” I exclaimed, and he nodded, his face lighting up even more.

            “I’m so happy.” He declared to me, and wrapped my body in a firm hug. He started by teasingly nibbling my ear, but then his lips tenderly moved their way towards my mouth with extra care. His hands moved along my body and traveled to places they shouldn’t ever go to, with my clothes on or off. My hands gained a mind of their own in reaction to his, and started prying at the buttons of his vest, and his, as if realizing he had similar wants to mine, pulled my red cardigan up and over my head, breaking our kiss for the tiniest moment, but soon we had the same warm energy flowing between us once more. His vest and my cardigan were on the floor, and his black T-shirt soon joined it, along with my bra.

            Adrian’s hands cautiously moved over my bare skin, and he stared at me as if he were surprised of my beauty. He repeated the same words he had after our first kiss, both a prayer and a séance instead of a mere compliment.

            “You’re…You’re amazing.” He drew me closer, like a fisherman bringing in his catch. He was puffing hard, but once his hands were finished exploring the available bare skin, they trailed down to the button on my jeans, and he pulled them off with ease.

            Once all our clothes were tossed casually onto the floor, he pushed me back onto my bed and wrapped me in his warmth. I loved the both the feeling and the scent of his skin, an unusual cinnamon spice coating his normal musk. His kisses became greedier against my mouth, but they were pleasurable, and with each one my happiness was taken to a whole new level.

            From the moment he did it, I knew I wouldn’t have been satisfied if we had done it any other time. Fate had planned it to be today, and that’s exactly when I wanted it to be. No sooner, and no later.

            For the rest of the night (or day, if you want to be technical) he held me and whispered, “You’re amazing, little Moroi, so so amazing,” in between each kiss. Every time he did, I knew that little nickname had grown on me. If one day he came up to me and called me Alicia for the rest of our life together, I would be disappointed. Just like I would never be satisfied with anyone but Adrian being here with me, taking my virginity with the utmost care, and holding me as cautiously as he would with a new-born baby, but still with the blissful energy. I felt amazing and incredible and wonderful and marvelous and just fantastic.

           

            It was the best thing waking up at the end of the night and feeling him nested next to me. He had obviously woken up before me, because my head was in his lap, which was covered with the jeans he’d been wearing earlier (and was wearing again), and my blanket was covering my still naked body. His fingers were playing in my hair, tangling themselves into a tighter knot in the auburn strings, and he looked down fondly at my face, a pure smile on his face. When he watched my eyes flutter open, he smiled more, and untangled his fingers from my hair.

            “Hello beautiful,” he whispered, his voice coated with his love and tender affection for me. I returned his smile, and started to sit up, dragging the blanket with me to keep myself hidden beneath it. I tore my eyes away from Adrian’s flawless face, and let them wander around the room. Everything was as we’d left it, with his shirt and the rest of my clothes in a pile, and the curtains open, revealing a starry night sky. My gaze made it over to my alarm clock when my eyes widened, realizing I was late for my first two classes.

            Adrian’s hands caught my shoulder before I could bolt, and gently massaged the spot he had grabbed as he chuckled lightly. “It’s okay, little Moroi, I called the office while you were sleeping to tell them you weren’t feeling well enough to leave bed, so that’s where you’ll be staying for the rest of the day.” His words relaxed me, as did his touch, and I leaned back into his bare chest. He pressed something soft—his lips?—into my hair and slipped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap. “How are you feeling?” He asked nonchalantly, and I smirked at his casual question.

            “Absolutely perfect.”

Idk. I just really liked that scene. There was a certain perfectness in it that I've never caught anywhere else.

Btw, that was also last year's (2011) NaNoWriMo . . . Or at least a piece of it. Most elements of it were good, the setting, some people, the classes, but things like the main character and storyline were screwed. I honestly think my first-ever story had a better storyline--and that's saying something. Speaking of my first story ever--I've been thinking of rewriting that one if I ever get another story finished. It'd definitely be cool--with extra high chances of getting published with it's content . . .

Gifts of the People

I think everyone has a gift, a talent, a need to share themself with the world and let themself shine. For some, it is hard to meet their dreams, stealing as many years from time as they can to hone their gift, until the right moment comes and they are finally forced into making the star in theirself glimmer in the breathtaking spot light. For others, it comes differently. Some rush into it, sure of their dream from the moment they take their first breath. I'm a little like that, I suppose you might say.

As a young teenage writer, I know life has been kind to me. I have a room over my head, two supporting parents (when they aren't yelling at me because I did some wrong), ambition, and as much as I try to be modest about it, talent. I many elements in my life that make me who I am--which I haven't really figured out yet. My friends are always telling me what I am: caring, beautiful, fashionable . . . but I don't know how to believe that. Yet. I think someday, maybe someday, I just have to proove to myself that I am all those things, like I've already made them believe.

Anyways, when I was younger, I didn't have the luxury of writing like I do these days. I had music--I was singing before I could talk--and art. Creativity and imagination as a bonus. Maybe plop a romance in there that I didn't understand. I honestly thought I was going to be a famous singer like Taylor Swift someday. She was my superstar--my role model. But learning of her music is also what caused me to drift farther and farther from my at-home family, the seperation still remaining today. Not the point here. Moving on . . .

But as I said, I did have creativity and imagination, like most children. Like most of my friends, I was tagged in Talented and Gifted, and at recess we'd have live role plays where we'd love and fight bad guys. It was our life. Most of all, it was real.

Time skip, and we're in fifth grade. I've started my first book, inspired after being introduced to the realm of young adult books. I never did finish that book, but it was a good start. I can now see how that led into the development I have today.

Skip another year, and I'm being homeschooled online because I'm so smart the school couldn't keep up with me. I've started another book, having abandoned the other, and it takes me months to get 5,000 words before I finally get stuck and start another, playing with the greek gods like I'd always loved. I found the school NaNoWriMo club--a basic writer's club for anyone who wrote books. You didn't have to participate in the activity. You just had to write.

Anyways, the support of all the people in the club is what helped me finish that third book. Novella, if you wanna classify it correctly, but I'd never been so proud. 18,000 words in one book, and I was finished, already set up for sequel and gaining more skill and development with every word I wrote.

Fast forward to today, and I actually haven't finished another piece, unless you count the small novelette I did in January. But I do have good starts on every piece I have saved either on my jump drive or my computer--and I plan to finish something before the end of June. Before the end of the school year.

If there's one thing that I have learned from my journey of talent, it's that convincing the world you have talent is the easy part. Convincing yourself, and learning to stand on your own two feet is the hard part. I have myself pretty convinced--and I truthfully must say I have no doubts that I'll be published someday. That maybe one day--I'll be drinking coffee eww, no, not coffee, flavored water with Cynthia Hand and Richelle Mead getting ready for a tour or something because I'm a bestseller. Why a bestseller, when I'm supposedly so modest? It's not for the fame, I'll tell you that. It's to have touched someone's life--someone's heart--so deeply that they cried or laughed. That they felt for the characters.

Another thing: Don't deny yourself, your heart, from doing what it needs to. You'll become stronger just by leading yourself on the right path--and not letting anyone else choose for you. That's how you'll win. That's how everyone will win.

Love you <3
Cassandra Bloom, the someday bestselling author

Felt the Need to Post These Lyrics

Idk why, but when this song came on my playlist, I felt the need to post them. They're so . . . true. And me. Like they describe me in a way I can't even admit to myself. Story of my life.

[Jordin]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air
Oh

[Chris Brown]
I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

[Jordin]
But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus:]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

[Chris Brown]
I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

[Jordin]
But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

[Both:]
So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No more
It's no air, no air

[Chorus]

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air, air

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air

Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air
No air, air
No air

That's all for today :) It just sorta reminds me how if I only had the rest of today to live . . . I'd want to be with those I love, because without them my life would mean nothing. I wouldn't have air. I would just be another corpse drowning out in the deep waters. So thanks to those of you who choose to make my life mean something((:

Excerpts of Mine--From Various Works

So I finally decided something: Imma post some excerpts of some of my stories. They are sorta randomized, and I'll have headers of what story they came from, maybe a synopsis if I'm feeling generous, but otherwise that's all the excitement that's ranking out today. Hope you enjoy!

First up, I got a few from the famously labeled Prologue! xD The first is a little gruesome, but it's a great way to start, in my oppinion . . .

Prologue

H

a-ha, look at her ass, Peter!” John elbowed him friend’s stomach and pointed off at some blonde-haired girl who had her back to the two comical boys. Peter laughed, his face turning red at the sight of the girl. “It’s all rumpled.” John went on. Peter snickered and shoved his friend, causing John to be set slightly off balance.

          “Her butt’s not rumpled, it just looks that way because it’s small and she’s wearing baggy jeans. I think her ass would look wonderful in my bed.” The two boys laughed and walked off to get to their next classes. Her barren black eyes were on them though, as they continued on with their lives.

          That night, they were murdered mercilessly. Their skin completely shed from their bodies; it left their beds soaked with blood. But their faces, which had been spared of the curse and were still wrapped with a human’s outer layer, were twisted in horrific agony as if they still wanted to scream but somehow couldn’t.

          Before their murderer leapt from their windowsill she turned to them and whispered, “This is what you get for the sins you’ve committed.” And for the moon, she swept back her hair to reveal a dark scarred tattoo on the back of her neck. It was a knot, symbolizing that she was deeply tied to her own mistakes, but somehow she knew she would get herself untangled from the horrible man who held her soul.

          She looked up to the stars and wished on one. Although her wish was more of a statement, her intent was clear.

          “I will find you.”

~andies:a short one~

“This is damn scary—not to mention creepy . . .” Aaron muttered, daringly letting himself become vulnerable in that cellar. And for a moment, he could see all of his fears, all neatly laid out in a row. Each just as flauntingly rare as the one before, he couldn’t bare to face any of them.

          The unknown.

          Attachment.

          Fear. Fear of fear. Ironic, he knew, but it was inevitable.

          And perhaps the scariest of all . . . love.
~andies: a comic relief. It's not all serious in the book, quite the opposite...lol reminds me of a conversation Jessica and I had earlier *pause on excerpts*

Jess: Where do the angels have a place in this?
Me: I have no idea . . . I don't think they do. Maybe Heaven burned out or something *chuckles*
Jess: Well it's a little disconcerning to think about demons defending us while angels, the ones who are SUPPOSED to be here, are just out gallavanting around the universe
Me: XD *snickers* it's actually quite funny that way . . .
Jess: It's disconcerning!
Me: Maybe they're on lunch break xD

I mean seriously?! How awesome is that? xD~

“We’ll get all this sorted out tomorrow.” Jeremy cut in suddenly. “Dawn is almost upon us—and the boss only gets crankier the more time he spends with people so I don’t think you’d like to spend the day on a play date with him.”

          “I think he’s just naturally like that all the time.” William pointed out, smiling. “Perhaps it’s from lack of coffee?”

          “Coffee isn’t the answer to every problem in the world, Will . . .” Aaron replied flippantly.

          “Maybe not, but it sure helps.” Jeremy agreed; the whole group started emptying towards the door.

          “It’s a disgusting substance, I don’t see how it could help with anything except maybe making me barf.” Aaron joked, and watched Jeremy roll his eyes. Cora chuckled at the men, smoothing some hair behind her ear as she watched them, amused.

          “Well, men, I must be off, but you’ll be hearing from me,” Cora goodbyed them and left after, walking through the door Jeremy held open for her. Next William tipped his non-existent hat and lifted his own coat from the coat rack.

          “Same here; c’est la vie,” he called annoyingly before disappearing into the night, which was quickly evaporating into day. Aaron wished it would come fast enough to turn fragile Cora to dust—but that was too much to hope for, wasn’t it?

          “So, Jeremy, I need to sleep and I’d assume you do too.” Aaron started.

          “That I do.” Jeremy replied

          “Is my bed made?”

          “Like a king’s, boss.”

          “Then I’m going to retire to my room and you’re free for the day.”

~I swear, I love arguing about coffee :D The final one:~

“Gods, do I have to get up?” He whined to no one in particular, not expecting an answer as he savored a few more moments in his comfy, wonderful bed.

          “Yes, Mr. King, you do.”

          At the sound of the voice Aaron burst straight up, eyes bulging, and met the eyes of his intruder. None other than Coralina, her hair and clothing somehow even more extraordinary than that night before. Her dark hair was curly today, the spirals pinned directly above her ear, creating a side ponytail that only made her oval-shaped face look even more angelic. Her attire was more casual than before—long light-colored jean shorts that reached until they were right above her knees, a deep red collared v-neck shirt with short sleeves covering her top, and a leather chord without a charm resting on her collarbone.

          Her eyes also seemed to soak into him as he looked her over. He was shirtless—he knew—with nothing but black boxers on the bottom, and he suddenly felt very uncomfortable with her eyes pouring into him, drinking every curved muscle that sculpted his tan chest. He wanted to run away.

          “What are you doing here? Didn’t it just turn dark?” Aaron asked feebly. Her amber eyes met his, only making his heart pound harder. Why was she so relaxed in the presence of an almost naked man—one who could rip her apart if he so desired? Though that would take a lot of self-control, which after his recent performances he would say he was seriously lacking in.

          “The sun set a little early today. It is winter after all. Anyways, when it set I decided to come over and Jeremy said I could wait for you to wake up and said you probably wouldn’t mind if I waited for you here so I did.” She explained, that rhythmic thing in her voice again. When Aaron didn’t reply, too breathless to even speak, she continued. “You sleep weird. You do that weird thing that humans do.”

          Finding this funny and letting the thought entertain himself enough to comfort him, he stretched and let out a small yawn. “It’s called snoring, darlin’, and every male on this planet does it. Get used to it.” She frowned, crinkling her nose. Aaron didn’t like that expression on her face.

          “My last boyfriend didn’t do it . . .” The word ‘boyfriend’ made his heart sweep. What was this? He hadn’t ever had feelings like this before she took those stilettos that were on her feet and stepped into this house—and suddenly he knew what having his heart have weight dropped on it felt like? And how come all he wanted to do was sweep her up in his arms and do dirty things with her ‘til the crack of dawn? And, most of all: Was she feeling any of this too?

          Pushing thoughts of her away, he turned away. “Well then, maybe he’s the weird one.” He paused, a sigh reaching his lips as he forced himself to say the next thing. “Now will you please get out of my room? I’d like to get dressed.” Wordlessly, he heard her leave the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

          Letting out a breath of release, Aaron roughly shoved a hand through his long, messy blonde hair in efforts to calm himself. But of course that didn’t work in any way, shape, or form. It just made him more frustrated with the fact that he couldn’t get his mind off of her. Granted, it might be hard since he could only imagine she was right outside his door . . .

          Okay, not helping, he snapped at his mind.

Cora just makes me laugh. Especially in this scene lol. Okay enough excerpts from this book--I'll move on to a few others before I shut down and go to sleep (I'm already in bed ;) ).

This is the beginning to a story I haven't touched in a while, but I completely love it now I that I go back and look at it. Btw, this one's called, "The End."

Chapter 1~

The First Day

<><><><> <><><><> <><><><> <><><><>

T

he largest pain woke me that morning. It had hit me in my sleep too, but in my groggy state I’d been able to keep it at bay. But it hadn’t left yet, and not it was gonna have its full affect.

          I bolt straight up right, the pain tearing at all of me; my skin, my brain, my insides, my sanity. Momentarily the pain was subdued by the dizziness that came with the quickness of my movement, but then I felt it searing through me again, it’s slithering worse than that of a snake.

          Of course, I’d felt this before, but its effects had never been this strong, pulsing in a way that made my body shake in huge tremors every time a beat came around. My breath was ragged as it tried to swallow me whole, and the stars spinning through my mind made me wish they would stop taunting me and really make me faint so I could escape this Hell-hole.

          And then, after a moment, it was satisfied with my low groans and was gone, leaving me to remake my messed-up bed, and before I could do that, un-knit my fingernails from the fabric of the bed. It took a few seconds for my heart to restart itself, and after that I wished it truly had swallow me so I didn’t have to suffer through the disaster I knew today would be.

          This was a great way to start my first try of senior year high school.

* * *

An hour later, after adeptly tossing out the breakfast my aunt tried to force down my throat and easily evading her repeated attempts to brush my unmade hair, London pulled up in her bright yellow convertible Mustang.

          London wasn’t exactly as close as a normal best friend would be to be, but if you take it to literal terms, she was the best friend I had. She made living with my aunt a little more worth it. She was a sweet popular prep,  an overachiever that lived on the leadership team. A complete opposite to me, but I enjoyed her attention, though I would never admit to it, and she enjoyed mine.

          I slipped into her car, not bothering to take off my black shoulder bag as I clipped my seatbelt shut.

          “Hey Cass,” she greeted me, a smile on her cherry red lips. She looked just as good as ever, her gorgeous red hair pulled into elegant curls in her ponytail, a tad of blue eye-shadow brimming her blue eyes, and black mascara applied thickly to her lashes. A fringed jean short-skirt tightened with a silken white belt wrapped her tan legs and her tight red v-neck t-shirt went around her, not letting a curve hide itself from the rest of the world. Sometimes, I sorta wished I could have such good natural features that could be enhanced that way, but mostly I was happy with my dyed black hair, black clothing, and metal spiked black combat boots.

          “It’s Cassidy and you know it.” I replied, absentmindedly casting a smile in her direction as well. I saw her eye my boots and outfit disapprovingly, and I knew what was coming next.

          “You know, you should let me dress you sometime.” She suggested, and I snorted.

          “Ha-ha very funny.”

          “You know, I still hold a claim on you for prom night,” she told me, and I half-groaned.

          “I’m only going if I get a date—you know that.” I replied, and she lightly punched my shoulder.

          “I’ll find you a date. And then I’ll make you more beautiful than Cinderella,” she said, winking in my direction. Another groan. “Oh come on, there are plenty of guys who’d go with you.” The unwritten line in her plan was that any guy would go with me—if she bribed them. Last year that was how I got good dates to all of the dance, and for some reason I didn’t want that this year. If I was going stag, or not at all, so be it. I was fine with that, as long as I didn’t feel as if I were cheating the whole thing.

         “No guy would be caught dead with me, especially at prom. So stop being so delusional. If some guy can ask me without having to be bribed, I will give him some serious thought, but I promise nothing else. I doubt anyone will, though.” I stated, and watched as a mysterious grin washed over her features.

          “There’s still the rest of the year to win over ‘some guy’s’ heart.” True, very true . . .

For some reason I just really like London. I wish the rest of what I had planned would work out. Maybe though I could work it out differently . . .

One more, this one's called The Hunted (if I ever get to it the sequels will be called The Gifted and The Taken. I really have good ideas for these :) I even used to have a synopsis . . .but idk where it went so now you get this)

T

hat stalker truly had no idea what was coming to him if he didn’t leave me alone. He’d been following me in his cherry red truck for the last fifteen minutes as I walked home from work. It had started off with a casual, “Hey, do you need a ride?” and quickly changed to, “ALICE GET IN THE CAR!” when I ignored him.

          Of course, that was when I started running. Any guy who knew my real name was bad news.

          As soon as I broke into a sprint the block came to an end. And he pulled out in front of me. I had lightning quick reflexes, so I stopped myself before I could because the sidewalk paint, but I still bumped into his truck. When I didn’t succeed in getting the heck out of there, he plucked me up at my waist with strong hands and brought me in, closing the door behind me.

”Nice of you to join me, Miss Alice.”

          “LET ME OUT!” I shrieked repeatedly, fighting the arms that somehow managed to restrain me and drive at the same time. I needed to get away. This man, no matter how old or young, was bad.

          And I always get what I want.

          The first question wasn’t how I was gonna get out. It was how am I gonna get out alive? The car was moving at a very fast pace, meaning if I even somehow got out of his tentacles and out the door I’d still be sidewalk paint. That meant I would have to wait until we got to where he was taking me, where there would most likely be more men like him. And I didn’t like the sounds of that.

          But the knowledge having to wait didn’t keep me from making this man’s life as complicated as I could. I thrashed around the truck as much as I could, but making sure the door was off limits. Accidents are possible, and that was not one I would appreciate.

I screamed when he shoved the nose of a gun to my forehead. I froze.

          “Now, Alice, I just want to talk to you. We have two ways to do that. I can force you, though I certainly don’t want to kill you, or you can come willingly.” I remained still. If he was telling the truth, he truly had no wants to kill me, but if I gave him any reason for his finger to slip on the trigger, I would be dead. That was also an accident I didn’t want to happen.

          When I remained still he took back the gun. I then noticed the car was stopped fully, but I didn’t dare glance outside. Who knows what he’d do to me in the time it took me to look away. I did, however, avert my eyes from his.

          “Alice?” He asked, his voice demanding that I look back at him. I didn’t listen. “Alice, look at me.” I noticed he wasn’t touching me skin-to-skin at all. When he had grabbed me and restrained me, he’d been holding onto my clothing, and I’d been fighting arms that had long sleeves covering them. And he wasn’t touching me now, not forcing me to look at him. Even when he pointed the gun at me, the cool metal had been pressed to my forehead. Either there was something wrong with him, or something wrong with me.

          And I was guessing it was the latter.

Hope you enjoyed that, have a nice day!

~C~